Tuesday 4 March 2014

The Therapy of Touch VI: The Existential Question

If you are a Massage therapist, you don’t need to be a qualified psychotherapist to talk to your clients or find out why they are coming for a treatment. This is perfectly within your legal ‘scope of practice’. Interestingly, by training to become a psychotherapist I learned to say much, much less to my Massage clients. I learned to let the touch really do the work. Of course this is a bit of  a ‘no brainer’ as the thing that is most missing in this world is ‘a lot more touching’. You can get plenty of ‘psycho babble” at every coffee shop in the land, but getting powerful deep and safe touch is a true rarity.

However, even when dispensing healing touch in a touch starved society, I still need to know just why my client is here. Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis called this ‘asking the existential question’. He asked himself: “Why is my client here and not having fun doing sex, drugs and rock and roll?” He also asked himself: “Why am I here and not somewhere else, having fun doing sex, drugs and rock and roll?” It was the sixties, after all. You probably get the point.

If the client has a tight shoulder, what difference will it make to their life if it is alleviated? How important is it to them? What caused that structural problem in the first place? They are made of soft tissue that is more affected by energy, emotion and thoughts than any other substance on the planet. Do we just ignore this fact? If they have a knee problem, what was happening when they injured it? Were they under stress? Was life particularly hard at that time and is it possible that their soft tissue hardened at the same time?

Is any of this psychotherapy? Of course not - it is simple human interest. It is also good healing, by going to the roots of a problem rather than endlessly and tediously addressing the symptoms that will always keep appearing as long as these root causes are not addressed. My analogy of ‘the shrunken suit’ should explain this:

If a client walks into the shop with a tear in the shoulder of their suit, a tailor can build up a great income and lots of business by simply repairing the tear. Because the suit has shrunk, that tailor is guaranteed return business as other parts of the suit tear, year after year. The honest tailor asks how the suit actually shrunk in the first place? Perhaps we have grown. Perhaps we went out for a walk in the rain and left it damp for a while.The expert tailor says “we need to stretch the suit, not keep fixing the tears that will keep reappearing."

Are such questions invasive? Well, if I turn up with a tight shoulder and I don’t like being asked what the causes of this tight shoulder might have been, or how much difference it would make to my life to have it fixed, then I will make that very clear in my responses. I cannot help but show my discomfort or irritation. A good therapist is a good educator who may then explain that they need to ask these questions to properly help the client. Or a good therapist will realise that the fear levels are so high right now, for the client, that such questions are therapeutically counter productive.

Such probing for the real reason why a client has come only becomes invasive if it is done invasively. If you cannot tell the difference between a client keen to share their story and one who is uncomfortable talking about herself, then it is time to take up another profession. The art of all healing therapy is to know when the time is right to invite the client to share more about themselves and the right way to do it.

Knowing the full story and identifying the correct treatment is at the heart of all effective therapy.

I once met a physiotherapist who had no training or qualifications in psychotherapy, tell me how she no longer touched or did any physiotherapy with her clients at all. She simply asked them what was going on at the time of their injury. She said this speeded up the healing so much she found herself unable to ‘do’ anything that was more effective, as a healer.

Some of the most powerful Psychotherapy I have ever received or given has happened in the silence of simple touch. Being ‘held’ or holding someone else can be the most powerful psychotherapeutic transaction of them all, but only if it addresses the real reason why that client came for treatment.

The beauty of Massage is that clients turn up and simply pay to get powerful deep and healing touch. Rather like ‘being held’.

Asking the existential question is the only way to fully understand what I and my client are actually doing on the planet at this particular time and in this particular space. Once we know these basics, we can be much more effective, whatever therapy we practice.  Asking such questions is how we care for another human being. It is also discovering the essential causative factors of their symptomatic pains.

To simply accept a tight shoulder as a structural problem is no better than calling poverty “a shame” and carrying on regardless. These things all have causes and history. Like Sherlock Holmes,we must trace each symptom back to its historical cause, if we wish to be more than some kind of ‘Mr Fixit dullard’. That is not healing touch. It is squashing human beings into a tiny ‘physical only’ box.

Every human deserves to be seen and heard and to be touched. Do you really know why they have invested this money and this time in coming to see you? Do you dare to ask the existential question? Is the pain really just physical?


Yeah ‘right’.

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