Just as the current obsession
of the Massage profession with ‘fixing’
the structure of a body suggests a rather worrying and fundamental fear of
touch, so too the Psychotherapy profession’s
aversion to touch suggests a fundamental ignorance of what makes us truly human
and what makes us better.
We are not just mind. Touching
the body can release patterns of energy, emotion and behaviour that have
remained undisturbed for decades. In just a few minutes. Whether this comes
from our oral phase or our anal stage is largely irrelevant except to those who
would avoid contact and ACTION through endless theoretical disputes. Like those
mediaeval scholars tediously arguing over how many angels might fit on the end
of a pin…
Does accepting contact from a
client who reaches their hand out for comfort constitute a breach of the
therapeutic relationship? Or was it a rediscovery and reassertion of that most
fundamental of healing beliefs, namely that “I am not alone”? Who made up such rules and regulations? Did these
regulators ever do any work on their own fears of touch, intimacy and life
itself? Are they qualified to regulate? The only people who should be
scared of touch are those who have not examined the issues of boundaries,
genuine intimacy and personal motivation. This should be a fundamental part of
any psychotherapy qualification training, surely?
Once qualified, is a
Psychotherapist not competent to utilise that most universal of all human
communications - touch? Are they not capable of assessing the right
intervention, verbal or physical, for this individual? Is some ‘professional
ethics panel’ more informed about this particular
client’s needs? If the body never lies, why
do we shun touching it in our therapy? Do we want to only work with that aspect
of the self which is capable of self delusional lies - the mind?
Congruency is when what is
said and what is done actually match. If we make up unnatural and touch phobic
‘rules’ around our therapy, how then
do we ever assess our clients’ congruency? How do we know if
what is said is meant, or that what is meant is said or that what is done is
both meant and said? Young children reach out and touch those they are safe
with. In our great psychological wisdom we would forbid this. So just what
message do we give about humanity and life when we sit so apart from each other
and stay so uninvolved? “This is a scary world and I am
not going to risk my professional separateness from you”.
Great. Such wisdom. Such profound teaching about the really important things in
life.
A touch phobic profession is
literally ‘flying blind’
to congruency, unable to assess the truth of what is unfolding. Body language
and body movements are but insipid and weak indicators of truth when compared
to the intensity and searing honesty of touch. When you touch me or I touch
you, I am immediately and intensely aware of my issues and my difficulties with
you. This powerful intimacy of touch brooks very little theoretical dispute.
Our reactions to touch are there for all to see and feel. They are instant,
observable and powerful. Just what types of touch can be used powerfully in a therapeutic
setting goes beyond a mere blog, but touch is one of the most powerful
psychotherapeutic interventions of them all.
Working for so many years with
Massage therapists, I have witnessed a whole room full of people knowing
INSTANTLY when the touch just ‘got right’
and when the client just ’let it in’.
The visual clues were minimal, though on reflection and discussion some
unconsciously recognised ‘micro-signals’
may have been present. By ‘micro-signals’ I
mean skin hue, subtle changes in breath and minute alterations in posture.
However, as these were done with the clients lying ‘rested’
on a table (face down) there really was only about as much ‘body
language’ to go on, as in a morgue. There was
none of that highly visible ‘shifting of position’
seen in seated posture.
What was INSTANTLY and
universally experienced by all in the room, whether watching or giving a
treatment, from the most inexperienced to the most ancient bodyworker, was the
SENSE that touch was accepted at a certain moment in time. The whole room as an
organism seemed to just say “Yup, I can let this healing
and soothing power of touch in”
In psychoanalytical circles we
might perhaps say that the id, ego and superego all opened the gates to this
touch. In Transactional Analysis we would say that the touch scored a ‘bull’s
eye’ where all three ego states were happy to accept this
touch, Parent, Adult and Child.
When touch is either accepted
or rejected it always comes with a story. That story is KNOWN by the client and
much of its dynamics can be FELT by the therapist and the group. After the
experience of touch comes much fruitful sharing and discussion of our ease or
difficulty with intimacy and human fellowship. As 90% of all psychological
dysfunction and healing relates to our difficulties with intimacy and human
fellowship, touch becomes one of the most useful therapeutic tools on the
planet.
And the Psychotherapy ethics
committees around the world in their wisdom would ban this amazing tool of
discovery and healing.
Such wisdom…
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